Why nerds are unpopular.

The first chapter of the Hackers & Painters is an excellent essay on why nerds are unpopular (a complete transcription of the chapter can be found on the author's website here). A text that has become widely quoted over the last few years. To Graham, the core issue is popularity:

The key to this mystery is to rephrase the question slightly. Why don't smart kids make themselves popular? If they're so smart, why don't they figure out how popularity works and bear the system, just as they do for standardized tests? (...) The answer, I think, is that they don't really want to be popular.

(Graham: pp. 1-2)

Now, that sounds strange, doesn't it? Who doesn't want to be popular? Everyone, of course, if we put it in those simple terms. However, Graham realizes that being popular, like anything else in this world, requires some effort and, as a matter of fact, most kids are willing to make that effort into becoming the most popular kid in the school. However, nerds weren't born that way:

They also have to put an effort towards it. They have to make sure they set the trend, wear the right clothes, sound cool, mind their attitude... all that requires work. Therefore:
Nerds serve two masters. They want to be popular, certainly, but they want even more to be smart. And popularity is not something you can do in your spare time, not in the fiercely competitive environment of an American secondary school.

(Graham: p. 3)

Or, to put it another way, nerds (and, by extension, geeks too) want to be popular or, at the very least, accepted into the larger community. The problem, of course, is that they care more about other things. If the price they have to pay for becoming popular or integrated into the larger student community is to give up their love for puzzles, challenging problems and abstract ideas, then they aren't willing to pay it. It's too high for them. And, like it or not, in spite of all the suffering, perhaps they make the right choice. After all, it would require for them to turn against their true personality and who is the parent who supports that idea? Don't we tell our kids all the time that they have to grow to develop their own true self? Well, that's precisely what geeks and nerds do. They don't care what society all around tell them about what's acceptable and what's not, what can be done and what's simply impossible. And that's precisely the reason why it's nerds and geeks who guide us forward. They refuse to accept the world as it is and, in so doing, are already building our future while the rest of us waste our time playing the popularity game in high school.

This chapter of Graham's book is definitely a classic. He points out what's wrong with the American high school system and even manages to make a few recommendations on how to fix it (namely, make it more like college, where students can behave more like adults with a purpose, instead of like kids full of testosterone hanging around a secluded environment without any particular aim). This essay is definitely well worth a read, especially if you are a parent.